Taking things to their logical conclusions.

Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity

I'd actually believe the article if it wasn't from The Onion.

the Afghan joke.

Women back under wraps with Taliban vice squad

"When we talk of 'vice and virtue' ... the one introduced by the Taliban comes to our minds. But it won't be like that," insisted Mohammad Karim Rahimi, a spokesman for the president. "It will be an organisation which will work on promoting morality in society as it exists in any other Islamic country."

Oh great.  They're committed to remaining in the stone age.  It's time to get our troops the hell out of there before another Canadian dies for nothing.

Serbia Deploys Peacekeeping Forces To U.S.

Serbian president Vojislav Kostunica deployed more than 30,000 peacekeeping troops to the U.S. Monday, pledging full support to the troubled North American nation as it struggles to establish democracy.

read on

Gotta love the Onion.

I don't know what it is, exactly...

... but there's something not right about a guy who wears his watch on the inside of his wrist.

Beware

The Canadian Cancer Research Group

This company is not to be confused with the Canadian Cancer Society, which is a legitimate organization committed to actually doing research on cancer treatments. The CCRG is a business committed to ripping off people when they're at their most vulnerable point in life, and they've even been known to tell people to stop legitimate treatments. They lie to hopeful & desperate people, and because the guy running it is a computer guy and not a doctor guy, the Canadian government says they can't regulate them.

A good think to remember is that there is no such thing as "alternative medicine". Either a medicine passes testing that uses controlled double-blind studies or it doesn't. If an "alternative medicine" passes the testing procedure, it's no longer "alternative medicine". It's medicine.

The opposite of good is not evil

It's complacency. Case in point - our laws concerning pot. If these laws are good ones, why do most people refuse to debate, or even discuss them with me? And of those who are willing to engage me, why do they get their asses so severely kicked while I don't even break a sweat? It's simple. So simple, even my kids understand it. The drug laws are bad. Very bad. Do you have a taste for irony? Here you go - the people who are hurt the most by our drug laws are the non-toking taxpayer. Unfortunately, they're either too stupid regarding the facts, or they just don't care (they're stupid in general). Yes, I'm talking about you. The guy who hid his face in shame and guilt when I challenged you in the Peterborough Examiner to a debate. You all hid. Not a single one of you had the balls or the strength of character or personal integrity to support your law in public.

I wish my dad's generation was more responsible. And more accountable. They shouldn't have lied. Lying is wrong. Even lying to kids. Especially lying to kids. As adults and parents, they should have known that. And now I not only have to take care of them, I have to clean this mess they've made without them even offering to help.

Shameful. Now my brother-in-law, a cop and all-round good guy, has to risk his life defending your stupidity and total disregard for personal responsibility.

Never underestimate the stupidity of people in crowds, eh?

Can two wrongs make a right?

Let's say you were talking to a guy, and this guy had not one lazy eye but two. Do you think it would show? Would you be able to figure it out, or would you keep looking over your shoulder?

I'm not making this up.

I noticed that there's braille on the keypad at the bank machine. Yes, I'm all for handicapped access and all that good stuff, but this bank machine is a drive through!
I swear, I'm not making this up.

But it's not a sport!

Curling and golf might be fun games for some, but can we stop referring to them as "sports"? See, by doing so, it is implied that those engaged in the activity are "athletes". My buddy Greg Shanner from high school was a curler, and a damn good one. For those of you who have met Greg, I rest my case.

Stupid sayings

I don't know the origins of some of our sayings, but I wish I did.
"Selling like hotcakes." - I assume these are pancakes. Have you ever seen someone running a pancake stand downtown? If you did, was there a big line-up?
"Sleeping like a baby" - obviously coined by someone who doesn't have kids. "I slept like a baby last night. I only slept for a few hours at a stretch, and when I did wake for the final time this morning, there was an empty bottle beside me, I had no idea where I was or what my next move was gonna be, and there was crap in my underwear."

You've gotta be kidding me.

So I'm sitting there, minding my own business (as I've been known to do) and the guy beside me pulls out a cloth rag from his pocket, empties the upper contents of his sinuses into the cloth, then puts it back in his pocket! Has his 1940's flash-frozen body been recently thawed out? Am I on Candid Camera? Does he work for a Just For Laughs camera crew? I dunno but someone, on behalf of whomever does his laundry, needed to tell him that we have these neat little inventions called tissues now. Here. Try these. Use them two at a time. Take some with you for later, Mr. Mucous. They're made of paper pulp. They actually do grow on trees!

I used to say that?

So I'm looking over the Lord's Prayer (one of the nice things about ADD is that you're never really bored) and I come to the line that reads "...and lead us not into temptation."

Isn't that an odd request?